We all have things we say to ourselves that we wouldn’t dare say to our friends—mainly because they are negative, limiting, painful, and… straight up untrue.
So why do we tell ourselves these things when we know them to be lies. After all, we all hate being lied to.
Why would we go out of our way to take information, give it a thoroughly negative backdrop, and use it to stop us from doing things we really want to do—things that will help us grow?
Fair question; here’s the answer you’re not prepared for: to protect ourselves.
What Are Limiting Beliefs—Why We Lie To Ourselves
The lies we tell ourselves are called limiting beliefs. They usually manifest in early childhood when we’re still making sense of the world, usually because of repeated incidences of one, or more, of our basic human needs being compromised.
For example, if a child doesn’t feel validated, they’re going to grow up thinking that they’re not good enough.
Our brain creates these lies as a defense mechanism to avoid feeling that way again.
This is why limiting beliefs can be dangerous; they hold you back from the success you’re capable of achieving.
Here are some examples of the lies we tell ourselves.
“I Can’t Do That” Or “I’m Not Good Enough”
This is common in people who grew up with parents or guardians who repeatedly invalidated their efforts, leaving their need to feel important, validated, and cherished unfulfilled.
It’s important to remember that you are capable of achieving anything you want to and being anyone you want to be. Treat past failures as lessons and don’t judge yourself harshly because of them.
“I Am A Victim Of My Past And Circumstances”
People who have been hurt or have failed in the past often use this statement as a way to justify their hesitance and fear.
If this feels like you, try to remind yourself that you’re not a victim of your past—but you may very well be a victim of your present because you are too attached to your past.
If you want to achieve your goals, you need to stop letting past failures define you.
You Can Overcome Your Limiting Beliefs
The good news is that you can overcome your limiting beliefs.
Because these beliefs are formed when basic human needs are not fulfilled, it is only logical that they will dissolve and become easier to overcome if you find a way to satisfy your needs.
Reframing is a technique that helps give your needs a new context, making them easier to fulfill. To use reframing, download the NIKU app from the Apple App Store or the Google Play Store, depending on your device.
The NIKU app works to accelerate your personal development and emotional stability in the way an online psychological counselor or a life coach would.