“People work for money, but go the extra mile for recognition, praise, and rewards”—Dale Carnegie

Approval and a sense of belonging are necessary components of human motivation, according to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.They’re essential for healthy mental development. But when approval and recognition become the center of one’s existence, things start to go down a steep spiral of low self-esteem,even resulting in self-destruction.

Many people spend their entire lives treading on the slippery slope of people-pleasing and recognition seeking. And when they don’t get it, they end up feeling frustrated, angry and disappointed in themselves.

It then becomes their main driving force to work and try their hardest to achieve approval in different groups and platforms, such as Facebook and Instagram, where they portray picture-perfect lives for the purpose of being validated.

Let’s take a more detailed look into recognition-seeking behaviors and why people exhibit them.

Integrity—It All Begins With Truth

Everyone is born with strengths and weaknesses. We all have something in us that is worth admiring and valuing. Let’s call this valuable element ‘Integrity.’

When our core integrity is valued, recognized, and respected by people whose opinions we hold close to us, one of our basic needs—having a sense of validation, belonging and love—is being fulfilled. In that moment, we feel cherished and visible and the negative voices in our head quiet down for a while.

When we feel validated for something we know we have, we feel self-acceptance. So at the end of the day, what we feel is coming from our self. Recognition makes us feel authentically ourselves and worthy of love—and this is not something we are used to feeling about ourselves.

 Unmet Needs And Recognition-Seeking Behaviors

When we receive the love and value we need from the environment we grew up in, we become self-confident and self-reliant. When this need isn’t fulfilled, it follows us well into our adult life, translating into approval-seeking behaviors.

People seek validation and approval to feel good about themselves because they never got to develop self-confidence or the belief that they are good enough. As a result, they develop a habit of chasing relationships and outside factors to validate themselves.

When people like this don’t get the recognition they have been working so hard for, they tend to start losing their self-esteem, which can lead to a plethora of psychological issues.

These issues can manifest in their daily lives as unpleasant experiences, further pushing them down the narrow rabbit hole of negativity.

So, How To Break Out Of The Cycle?

Fortunately, there are ways to overcome the habit of seeking outside recognition. Since a huge part of it comes from unmet needs, the best way to heal is to go directly to the cause and start the healing from within.

Using reframing, your unfulfilled needs can be given an entirely new context, making it easier to meet, even in adulthood.

To try out reframing, you can easily download NIKU, an app available on both, the Apple App Store and the Google PlayStore. The app works on ‘reframing needs’ and functions as an online psychological counselor or a life coach, helping you look at life with a fresh, new perspective.